Life Struggles

Facing struggles in life has always brought me only closer to God. Anytime I recall putting focus on anyone or anything else all I did was fall. I remember when I was a teenager I always had talent to sing, write, and draw. Everyone was always complimenting my work. As time went by and nothing progressed with my dreams, I just gave up and let it go. For many years my dreams and talent remained stagnant. I figured why bother pursuing it's just a waste of time. So- I turned back to Jesus and there He was with open arms, waiting for me. He filled me with Joy. So much joy and time went on and I just didn't even feel the need to pick up a pen or tune. Then I met a hunk. Yes, he was a christian and whoo-ooo- a musician. The perfect man in my eyes. in the beginning it was awesome. We sang together in church, he payed attention to my poems, songs, and even gassed me up about my books. We spent hours online looking for publishers and all. I started writing and singing again. Unfortunately, when things got tighter I had to let him go. So--------- I went back to Jesus lonely and sad and there He was with open arms waiting. He refilled me, restored me, rekindled me with amazing fire. So much that i didn't feel the need to pursue anything anymore. I lost the hunger to sing and write. As I sought God in spirit and in truth, it was different. This time I decided to surrender all my dreams, desires, and even thoughts to Him. WOW-- He blessed me with and awesome christian man who loves me and my children. Boom, I got all excited and boosted up enough to start talking about my talents and desires and dreams. My husban dis the best, but he just didn't seem as interested, nor talented as my ex was. He wasn't as thrilled with my dreams and goals as other people were. As time went by my desire again started fading. Not to mention at this point I have kids to distract me, a job to consume me, and a hub who doesn't revolve around me. So-------- I went back to Jesus saying "Lord- THAT's IT! No one cares about anything! No doors open up for me! I'm done with singing and writing!" I heard a voice saying, "Child, I called you to write. Write for my honor and glory. I care, I see and record all your work so it can be used in my time for my purpose." Ever since then, I have a passion to sing and write like never before. So------- I went to Jesus and I went again and again and again. And still to this day I will sing and write for Him only knowing that HE called and HE cares.